Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Pace of Play
I enjoyed the responses to my last blog about driving a car ... yes, the roads are full of knuckleheads. These same crazy views of driving also infect peoples views of playing golf. The reality is that the golf course is like a one lane highway. We try to get people to play at a speed that produces a 4 hour round - I'd compare it to driving a car about 60-70 mph. Now if people want to play in three hours (like driving 90 mph) the 4 hour pace seems slow and they have to wait. But we don't believe it's fair to make people play faster than a 4 hour pace - but they can't play at a 5 hour pace. People think that because they paid their money that they have the right to play at whatever pace they desire. No ... they paid for a slot on the course ... they don't have the right to screw it up for everybody.
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The number one reason I don’t play golf any longer is because of the lack of knowledge people refuse to bring to the golf course.
Like driving I think all golfers should have to pass an exam before anyone lets them on their golf course.
You rarely hear from the other side on this one (the slow players). One of the reasons they have absolutely no clue is that they were never taught any golf etiquette.
Yes, you are allowed five minutes under the rules of golf to look for a lost ball, but if you are losing five plus balls per round, not only are you what us single digit handicappers call "A HACK", but your money would be put to better use employing the services of your local golf pro.
Here are some examples of what slows everyone down and irritates us to the point of leaning on our club in the middle of the fairway. When you see someone leaning on their club, they are not relaxing, that is the universal sign for hurry the hell up buddy.
Contrary to popular belief;
1) Women are among the fastest players on the course.
2) Carts slow down the game
If you can relate to any of the following scenarios then you are a problem on the golf course.
475 yd par 5 – your drive goes 250 and lands in the right rough, you're gonna wait until the green clears aren't ya? Because you along with a small percentage of touring pros can hit the 225yd shot out of the rough on to the green. I will enjoy the big tuft of grass followed by a 85 yd roller. Good call on the 3-wood!
You hit your approach right, there's a pond on the left. You're just gonna have a peek just to see if you can salvage a few water logged balls. The guys on the tee are hoping that you don't have a ball retriever, but they should have known better than to think that after watching you tee up a yellow ball. Out comes the ball retriever and you're like a kid in a candy store grabbing every ball in sight. This pisses folks off, so if you get hit into, now you know why smarty pants.
Have you ever played with this guy? He hits a great drive down the middle; from about 135yds he pushes his second way right – of course he can't believe it, so he drops another ball "just to see". This one is pulled way left! Now, from the tee I watch Joe Slapnut waltz over and pick up his ball on the left and then waltz over to his original ball on the right. PAINFUL!
How about the guy that can't figure out that reading his putts while his playing partners are putting might be useful instead of waiting until it’s his turn to putt. This guy also enjoys walking in others putting lines and taking extra putts while we wait in the fairway losing our minds.
One of my favorites is the dope that is playing ahead of you begins driving back towards you, or worse yet walking. Now either he’s quitting (but we’re not that lucky!) or he’s misplaced something, perhaps a golf club. “Have you guys seen a 7-iron, it’s a Dunlop…..I think.” Sorry dude, no Dunlop 7-iron sightings. Time Saver Tip: Always set your clubs on the flagstick; that way when the hole is complete you or someone else will have your clubs when you walk off the green. Also, be a dear and set your clubs in the direction of the next tee when you walk off the green. I don’t know if I can take watching you walk all the way across the green to retrieve your bag of clubs you left by the bunker. But as long as you have walked this far you might as well spit shine your wedge and write your score down.
Hey, I know these guys; it’s the slow player group starring the loud mouth hack and his three clueless buddies. Hey could you slow down a little more? I wanted to catch up on the strip club conversation from the last hole and I never did hear how the keg stand competition turned out from hole 3.
There is no way I can cover it all, but I have seen most of it. Just because you pay for a hotel room doesn’t give you the right to disrupt other guests. The same is true for a golf course. Do some light reading on etiquette and really try to put your newly found skills into practice. No one cares about you on the golf course. We don’t care about your new driver or what you learned at last weeks lesson which doesn’t seem to be working like it did on the range an hour ago. Play golf, have fun, do it at a reasonable pace.
If you can’t play a round of Golf in 4 hours, you need to pick up another hobby. Maybe fishing is your pace!
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